What's This Feeling Called?

Today is my last day as a 24-year-old. Something happened in these last few months to change me, but today I feel like I'm in a pit.

I've been feeling strangely more confident these past few months. Confident in everything: looks, intelligence, place in life, etc. I've been living my life how I always wanted to. Then today I woke up just not feeling the same. I feel like I'm in a funk.

Maybe it has something to do with visiting my old college town. I feel out of place here. I used to feel like a puzzle piece in the city that snapped together nicely with everything around me. Now I feel like that piece of the puzzle that almost fits but when you put it in place, the puzzle buckles.

I know it sound like I'm trying to say that I've outgrown this place, but I promise that's not it. I just feels like two people have grown but in different directions. Everyone else who stayed here changed with the city while I've adapted to living in a new one.

One of the best parts of being back was seeing people I hadn't seen in years, but it was a catch-up session. One of those brief moments where you don't have to fit in; I just had to be for a while. These are all people I wish I could see every day because they are all important people in my life.

I don't imagine this problem happening in the reverse -- when friends visit me. My town is a new town for them. They're catching up with me while exploring all the city has to offer. But when I'm back in my college town, I see all the places I used to go and realize I don't fit in there anymore. I would never show my face in some of the usual hangouts because I'd feel like that old person who can't let go.

I guess that's what I kind of feel like right now.