Dum Dum Duuuuuuuum!

It's an hour before my final final. I'm nervous. It's strange how actually being able to use all my notes is making me more nervous.

"Will I be able to find everything I'm looking for?"

"What if I'm so time pressured that my notes will be virtually useless and I don't remember everything I need?"

Breathe.

I would like to now take this moment to reflect on this finals period. Two weeks ago, I was frightened beyond all belief. I hadn't really learned anything in any of my classes. The classes were harder than any others I had taken before. I didn't know how I would get through it all. All I could do was close my eyes and wish that I could move forward two weeks in time.

Now it's two weeks later. I've finished with four of my five classes and only four hours away from being done with my last. It's strange how you can't imagine getting to this point but when you reach it, it doesn't seem as difficult as you feared it would.

The two weeks melt away and I realize I've spent most of my life willing away days, weeks, or months to pass. I don't pay attention to the in between. All that happens is I get older by days, weeks, or months. When I start working, will I stop waiting for that day to get here? What will I be waiting for? Will there be any reason to will time to pass?

I imagine being a real adult to be less peaked stress. It's stress stretched out over the work week. Law school is so fake. There's no real stress during the semester, and then finals hit and you have massive stress for two weeks. No wonder I try to will that time away. Will I lose the need to will time away because I won't be faced with such peaked stress periods?

I want to stop waiting for something to happen. I want to start enjoying the in between. If I don't, I'm afraid all I will be left with is results instead of memories of the process. I really don't even remember last week.

I think I've just become incoherent.