Spam... The Email Variety

I don't know how I became the spam magnet that I am. Every day I get at least three emails about enlarging my penis. In addition to that, I get one email about Viagra. Apparently my small penis is unable to have any fun. In case you haven't noticed, though, I am female, so these emails fall on deaf ears... blind eyes... whatever, I don't know. In addition to my penis problems, I am invited to view web cams all over the world by people I apparently talked to the night before at least twice a day. I don't know what the point is because my small penis won't appreciate the web cams. These people need to consolidate their list and find the right target audience.

My favorites are the ones where the subject just says, "HI." Like I'd be duped into opening one of those if I don't know the sender... more than once a week. I just can't help the fact that I need to make sure it's not someone I know. If it has a bunch of random letters and numbers in the address, I know I don't know them, but sometimes when it looks like a real name I just have to make sure I don't know the person because I am an email attention whore.

That's the bottom line. I validate my existence on the number of personal emails I get a day. Needless to say, I have pretty low self-esteem.

On the other end of the spectrum, my school account is bombarded with hundreds of sales emails a day. I was dumb one day and thought I could actually get a free spindle of CD-Rs. If I had thought about it, I would have paid money to keep these people away from my email. Now I'm stuck for three years with hundreds of sales-pitches a day... and I didn't even get the CD-Rs.