Brain Fart

By the time Friday rolled around, I was a napping fiend. In less than two days, I felt I could not function without a midday snooze. I went home after classes, waiting for the UPS man to arrive with my new laptop (to hopefully improve my efficiency in class by typing notes from the get-go). He arrived, I did a dance, and the laptop and I were bound together forever, or at least until my three year service plan runs out.

I spent a good part of the afternoon installing programs and reorganizing my notes. After a few hours, the lack of napping started to affect me. I wanted nothing more than to lay down in my bed and sleeeeeep, but I couldn’t leave my new partner just yet. I decided to spend some quality time with it playing hearts. He beat me every time, but what can you expect, it’s a computer… programmed to beat you at every game.

As I was playing hearts, the phone rang. HIM. Crushee called again. This time he managed to call before 5 in the afternoon, a great change for once. He asked if we (I assume the trio when he says “you guys”) had any plans. I said I didn’t have plans, and he invited me to see a rock show with some of his friends. In the bliss of a heart-warming card game with my new partner and the severe effects of withdrawal from lack of napping, my brain suddenly lost ability to function. I instantly (although not enthusiastically) agreed. He tried to give me directions, but since the brain was essentially on off, I couldn’t understand directions to my bedroom, much less a place downtown. I told him I would call him later and get directions then. I hung up the phone and realized what I did. I had a brain fart.

I immediately went to bed for a nap. I greeted my bed with such glee, you would have thought that there was a naked, straight, Calvin Klein, male supermodel in my bed, but there was nothing but my down comforter and blue sheets.

When I awoke, I was faced with my stupidity. I ate some goldfish crackers (the snack that smiles back… hmm, not actually very appetizing, but I’ll save that for another day) and watched some CSPAN (I’m also a CSPAN junkie, another story for another day). I called Crushee to get directions, also using the conversation to try and find someone else who was going I might know, but he could tell me of no one. He also asked if I had eaten anything yet. I told him of the handful of goldfish, and then he said nothing more about it. I think he was going to ask me to dinner or something, but was frightened off by my obviously filling snack of soup crackers. I don’t know what to make of him.

I then started calling all my friends to obtain a companion for the night. I was afraid of joining the minority brigade. I knew I stuck. There was no one who would go with me and no way for me to get out of it. I drove downtown, mostly on my own because his directions SUCKED. I was proud of myself for figuring it out for the first time on my own. I got to the bar and found him and his friends. (Just a note, they were all white… another hmm must be inserted here because in a conversation earlier this semester he made it sound like he could only have minority friends.)

To summarize the night, I had a really good time. A few things were kind of weird, like making potential plans for New Years and when his friend said she went inside so he could walk me to my car and give us a little time to ourselves (I actually was giving them a ride to their car). He did ask me three times that night to join him and his friends the next night to see a movie and get something to eat, to which each time I responded that I had already made plans with another friend. (He called the next day to invite me again, and I told him the same thing. He sounded defeated when we got off the phone, like I had given him a brush off or something.)

Now I’ve done something with him, and things are all different now. I’m not really sure how I feel about anything anymore. I just know that I’m not sure. It’s so hard to deal with this stuff and law school at the same time. If he were to just ask me out flat, I would say yes now because I’m interested to see where things go and to talk about issues I question about him. Now it’s moving forward. I’ll probably move back to the liking him part just to have him move back to the casual part with me. I don’t have time for a sine graph.