The Day of Studying

I woke up at 9 this morning. I've been studying since. That's almost 12 hours. Ok, probably 10 that I've actually been studying. But still that's a lot of studying.

I just visited the cold stone creamery web site. There's one around the corner. I'm deciding which one I should get next. I won't be going until Tuesday or so.

OK, I'm going to get back to studying. Supper-break time is over. :(

You Know Studying Isn't Working When...

The breaks between actually studying get longer than the actual study time.

You find yourself eating... a lot.

Stupid things start to catch your attention on the internet.

You contemplate calling a friend up to plan a weekend to DC some time this summer.

It's 9pm on a Friday night and you're in an office typing a post.

Oh My...

I am: 24% Republican.

"You're probably one of those people who still thinks that getting a blowjob is not an impeachable offense."

Are You A Republican?

Did I read something wrong? How could I be almost a quarter Republican? And, yes, I am one of those people...

What I Do Instead of Studying...

Oh, Spicy Noodles,
How I love your burning taste

That cleans out my nose.

Loving small cafe
That listens to my requests
And makes my eyes sweat.

There is nothing like
An induced internal drain
of all my insides.

Weird?

I was in my car, almost at school. I was turning from the busy, divided highway onto the quiet residential road where my law school is located. As I was waiting for the light to change, I saw this guy in the bike lane.

Was he on a bike? No. Was he on a scooter? No. Was he even on a skateboard? No. He was on roller skates. Not those cool, maybe go kinda fast roller blades. He was on old school roller skates, even though they did look cooler than the ones you get at the skating rink.

He wasn’t even going very fast. In fact, I think I could have walked faster than he was skating. I couldn’t quite figure out why he was even in the bike lane. There was a sidewalk on the other side.

Is there something I’m missing? When did roller skaters, not going very fast, ever get the right to roll in the bike lane?

Deal Breakers

Remember that little post I wrote about my standards? Well, now it's time to put them to the test.

Monday, I talked to new guy (who by the way is Poker guy from this post). He told me he was going to call me Friday night to do something. Friday I also had alternate plans with another friend. I planned on calling my friend around 7 if I hadn't heard from the new guy. Well, Friday was also the day that Sex and the City discs arrived. I started watching them, and next thing I knew I didn't want to leave my apartment. I wanted to finish watching my DVDs, especially because they prevent me from doing necessary studying.

I finished watching them around 11 at night. Still no call from new guy. That's something that really bothers me. When someone says he'll call you and doesn't, it says he has very little respect for you. Couldn't he at least call and say that he can't do anything, but promised to call, so did?

Don't take this the wrong way. I'm not angry. I wasn't that invested yet. But, it's something I may have to seriously consider if he calls. Am I just going to let it slide? Do I say something? Do I ask for a reason? If I bring it up, I don't think I'm holding him to any higher standard than I would my friends.

Well, the key to talking to him about this will be whether I will even pick up the phone. I actually am not sure what I'm going to do.

Doing the Math

So as I was going to bed, I calculated the minimum age difference between me and the prof. It's at least 26 years. He's way old enough to be my father.

I guess it's not to weird because I've always found Bill Clinton rather attractive. And that was about the difference between him and Monica.

I guess it's not that weird.

I guess.

EDIT: I looked online and found that the minimum age difference is 31 years, not 26. He's older than my father. Is there something wrong with that?

I've Never Been So Attracted to Someone Before

Today I was sitting in class. I was even paying attention. I don't know what's happened to me. I guess a good night's sleep and interesting material make it easier to listen up.

As I was sitting in class, I realized that I was incredibly attracted to my professor. It hit me that I was so much so that I had trouble listening to him. I just couldn't think of anything but how attracted I was to him.

I never had a crush on a professor in college. There were a few I admired and found endearing, but no one that I ever wanted to be with. That's why this is so odd for me.

I think he's attractive, but he's so smart. He's incredibly funny. He's a great public speaker. He's down-right amazing. I can't believe I feel like this over a professor!

Maybe it's my birth control. I just started wearing the patch after about a three week hiatus (to which I had very negative side effects that I will talk about at a later date). Maybe there's this influx of estrogen that's making me crazy. I don't know. I do know he's the one professor that I always had a crush on, but today he was the only person I have ever wanted that badly.

Whoa.

A Drink or Two

Tonight I got to partake in a wine tasting night. I had a bit to drink. The fun of drinking so much is that you don't really realize how much you're drinking until you've had too much.

I notice when I've had too much when I start having verbal diarrhea. I was telling a guy tonight who graduated top of his class (in the 70s) that I didn't think it was worth losing the quality of life, so I didn't study as much. I could hear myself saying these things, but I could stop it.

This is why alcohol is so scary. Especially because the two outings I've had with the most recent guy in my life have had me drinking a bit. I've shared a bit with him faster than I expected to. I guess it shouldn't be something I'm embarrassed about because it's all true, and he didn't seem to mind. Still, I wonder why I just share secrets so much when I drink.

I hope I don't sound like an idiot.

I'm tired now. I think I'm going to bed.

I Miss It

It was like seeing an old flame. My breath caught in my throat. I had to remind myself that I was still driving -- over a bridge, no less. My face became flushed. I couldn't even articulate words. If I could have stopped the car, I would have. I wasn't even in the right lane to pull off the road. If I had been, though, I wouldn't have seen it. I quickly thought about doubling back. There had to be some way to get back to the river.

But as soon as the moment came, it was lost again. My face cooled down and everything felt normal again. And that wasn't a good thing.

I decided I couldn't wait another year for it. I had to try it again. Trouble was deciding when I would fit in practices.

The boat calls. I might answer the call this summer. It's time to return to the water.

Bus Rides

Since moving to my new area, I've started taking public transportation a lot more often. I find it refreshing. I'd like to one day live in a city where my care is virtually useless... or at least not required.

Riding the bus has been a new experience all together. Apart from the odd smells that emit from the back of the bus (which is unfortunate because that's my favorite place to sit), there is always someone... interesting riding the bus. This might be because my neighborhood is a little more bohemian than most, but I don't mind that.

In truth, there aren't many scary smelly people on the bus, but I'm sure that will change as the sun starts to come out and ripens the smell of the outdoor sleepers who take advantage of the cheap transportation. I don't mind the bus, and, in fact, I kind of like it.

It's lead to great advances in my social life. Because I have a pretty strict no driving when drinking policy, I was often limited when I lived far away from the action. Now, I'm just a bus drive away from it. The real test is getting off the bus at the right stop after a night of action. And by action I just mean partying, not any sexual getting it on and such.

But speaking of sexual getting it on and such, I had the worst ride home this afternoon. After trekking to the back of the odd-smelling bus, I noticed there was this couple sitting a few rows in front of me. They would not stop kissing. What was even more surprising to me was they were actually having a conversation! They seemed to manage to punctuate their sentences with their kisses. I became more and more disgusted as the ride went on. I couldn't imagine having the capability to have such deep conversations while kissing every two seconds, much less while doing it very in public on public transportation!

I've never been much for PDAs (wow, for a second, I had to remind myself that I wasn't talking about a palm pilot). And I try to be cool with other people's, but how can you been in such need of kissing someone that you can't wait the 20 minutes it takes to get home. Wouldn't some intimate-yet-not-vulgar touching be more appropriate. It may just be me, but I think people who can't keep their hands off one another is more endearing (and easier to live with) than people who can't keep their mouths off one another.

I think their kissing was more foul than the smell of the back of the bus.

Lunchtime Revelations

At lunch, I expressed to some classmates (who are also friends), what I expressed in my previous post. Then the simplest statement made the most sense: Maybe I'm in a rut.

It makes total sense. I've been in law school for almost two years and all I ever do is law school stuff. All I know are law students. I need something else.

I've been trying to do this on my own recently. I've tried to rekindle friendships with friends outside of law school. It's just that a good chunk of the handful of people I know outside of law school are married... to each other.

To make it simple: I have maybe five friends outside of law school. Two of those are a married couple who have a baby. (I'm not including the baby in the count of my non-law school friends.) I'd think it'd be safer to say I have four friends outside of law school. That would make half of my non-law school friends married... to each other.... with a kid. That doesn't leave much outside the afternoons we hang out together ... with the baby. I actually like them and the baby. I just don't think they're going to help me branch out of the law school vortex.

So, the three of us (me and my two friends from lunch) are going to do something this weekend. It's going to be use and non-law students. I'm excited about this. I'm ready get out of this rut. I'm going to work hard to do it.

Get ready. We're gonna make a change.

Revelations of a Single Gal

I don't often think being single is depressing. There is one time, though, that I always am hit hard with the fact that I am single, and it often depresses me -- grocery shopping.

It becomes quite obvious when you look at my cart. Everything is in single servings, or at least the smallest portion they sell. My milk is a half-gallon, the meat and cheese are the lowest poundage I can find, and I pay more per ounce for the small cans of vegetables. Where it becomes glaringly obvious, though, is when you see the frozen dinners that take over my cart. Every time I go, I buy more. The fact that these are all either Healthy Choice, Weight Watchers, or Lean Cuisine tell even more. In fact, my cart is strewn with lo-fat, healthy, or some other fad word (not including low carb, I will forever stay away from that one) foods.

What depresses me though, is that it is so easy to tell that I am a single woman even if I were no where by my cart.

I think I'm tired of shopping for one. I'm not saying that I want to be married, but I would like to spruce up my cart with a few items that say, "I'm cooking for two!" Or at least reduce the amount of quick fixes that obviously say, "I spend many nights eating by myself."

I also realized recently that I haven't seen many new movies lately. I also figured out that it's because I'm single. When dating or in a relationship, the movie becomes the basic what-you-do-together. I'm not saying I won't go to movies by myself, but I don't even think to go to movies. I have many fine second-run theaters right around my house, but I don't even go to them.

And tonight, as I watched my favorite new addiction, aka television show, Lost, I cried aloud that it couldn't be the end of the season already. The sound of my voice hung in the room for a while. It's bad when the sound of your own voice startles you. After the show was over, I had no one to talk about it with.

I want something.

I don't just want just anyone, though. Why can't I find what I'm looking for, even if it's only a good date every now and then?

And one final thought: Why is it that some girls can get another guy almost immediately after breaking up with a boyfriend, while others of us can barely find a date every six to eight months?